Guess what the ocean brought me? A Heart

"Men hope to settle down when they marry whereas women hope to start a new life..."

When single, I always thought my married girlfriends were overly-dramatic, if not critical, when claiming their husbands were not the same men they once dated. That men were liars. Bewildered, they couldn't fathom how their men had changed so drastically, and why they never saw it coming.

Having been married 6 years now, I came to appreciate their conundrum.

I married late so I thought I would be smarter. I walked into my marriage with eyes wide open. I knew the qualities I liked and went straight for the self-assured and kind men with a good sense of humor.

After our first meeting, my then BF pursued me ardently. He rang me daily - often twice a day in the first couple of months. Mind you, it was a 15 -hour time difference. Not an easy task to keep up. His boy-next-door good looks and easy demeanor certainly enhanced his chances.

What sealed the deal was when we were defining love. One of the qualities we like to see in each other was the "ability to compromise". I said we needed to be mindful of our partner's needs and be prepared to make sacrifices. He replied with poetic eloquence,"Why do you need to see it as a sacrifice? When you give with love, you will receive so much more in return." Which intelligent woman will walk away from that profound promise? At last, my soul-mate! I jumped right in; abandoning my well-paying job and moved 10,000 miles away from family and friends.

Obviously I didn't live happily-ever-after, otherwise I would not be writing this blog. Marriage is hard work even if you thought you'd met your soul mate.

Ladies, take heed of the "Golden Rule" of a hunter. Men, by nature, are hunters. Going back to the early days of the caveman, men were out there hunting. In order to bring home the bacon, the man is single-mindedly focused on capturing his target. It was necessary to provide and protect, all of which were admirable.

In dating, the target has changed but the rules of the game have not.

Again, the man is back on the hunt. His sole focus is winning you, hopefully it is your heart he's after. Putting his best foot forward, including embellishing the truths, are all fair game to him. It is not unusual for him to pull out all stops - play the romantic, send you flowers, patiently shop with you for hours and endear himself to your family and friends. Typically, this is the man women fall for.

When married, unfortunately the hunt is over. The flowers stopped, then he forgot important dates and now, you had trouble getting him to stop for grocery.

Therein lies the problem.

Men did all the work upfront before marriage. Then it's time to relax after the "kill". Women did not see that coming. Instead, they bought into the fairy-tale of endless romance and shopping. Disillusioned, women started nagging to defend their lost dream.

Are all marriages set up for failure? Are all men liars, and women, all naggers?

I came across this quote ages ago. It summarizes aptly the frustrations in most marriages, "Men hope to settle down when they marry whereas women hope to start a new life..."

The concluding part of the quote is, "And both are disappointed." Must we, really?

Sarkozy Says Burqas Are Unwelcome in France

By: Sole2Sole (View Profile)

Is he preaching religious freedom or restricting religious freedom?

Do you embrace religious freedom by allowing everyone free expression to wear what they believe in? Or should we restrict dress code such that we are all scrubbed clean of any religious inclinations? Which is the true representation of religious freedom?

“The burqa is not welcome on French territory,” Mr. Sarkozy said. “In our country, we cannot accept that women be prisoners behind a screen, cut off from all social life, deprived of all identity.”

The French President Nicolas Sarkozy saw religious freedom by restricting the adornment of personal effects symbolizing respective faith. Most of us would draw reference to the women particularly in the Salafi strain of Islam, where a minority chooses to wear full black cloaks covering the entire body, including a small net covering the eyes.

I agree the complete “black-out” outfits looked overwhelmingly inhibitive. I find it difficult to justify the religious expression. However, I am certain the Muslim community would defend their women that wearing burqas is their Muslim identity and faith—nothing to be ashamed of. Just as a nun wearing her habit or someone wearing a cross in public. Should they be made illegal as well?

What about those who not only choose to remain in their polygamous sect but usher their underage daughters into polygamy and worse, marry them off to someone twice their age? Should they have the religious freedom to do what they believe in?

I wonder, “What is religious freedom?”

Guess who came to visit today?

Save the earth

Sign up here and spread the word around
http://www.repoweramerica.org/page/invite/earthday

Simple Steps at Home - Easy to follow graphics

http://www.simplesteps.org/content/view/0/5051/37

Take the Tour
mar 31	Save Energy at Home Rollover the rooms and appliances below to see what consumes the most energy in American homes and click for tips on how to improve your home's efficiency. Select the steps that will have the greatest impact on your energy bill.

Happy Earth Day - Simple Steps to go Green

http://www.thedailygreen.com/environmental-news/latest/green-new-years-resolutions-10109?link=rel&dom=yah_green&src=syn&con=art&mag=tdg

Give Up Plastic (and Paper) Bags
Cost: $1
Do you opt for paper or plastic when at the grocery store? Neither is a good choice. Twelve million barrels of oil were used to make the 88.5 billion plastic bags consumed in the United States last year. And it takes four times more energy to make paper bags.
The best choice is reusable shopping bags made of cotton, nylon or durable, meshlike plastic. Put a few reusable shopping bags in your car so you have them handy on your next shopping trip. And if you happen to forget your reusable bag (as we all do!), choose paper if you will recycle it or plastic if you will reuse or recycle it.

Stop Buying Bottled Water
Cost: $14.98 for aluminum water bottle
Did you know that it takes 26 bottles of water to produce the plastic container for a one-liter bottle of water, and that doing so pollutes 25 liters of groundwater? Don’t leave a trail of plastic water bottles in your wake! Stop buying bottled water. Use reusable water bottles instead made from materials like stainless steel or aluminum that are not likely to degrade over time. If you choose a plastic water bottle, check the number on the bottom first: Plastics numbered 3, 6 and 7 could pose a health threat to you, so look for plastics numbered 1, 2, 4 or 5.

Stop Receiving Unwanted Catalogs
Cost: $0
Each year, 19 billion catalogs are mailed to American consumers. All those catalogs require more than 53 million trees and 56 billion gallons of wastewater to produce -- and many of us don't even know how we got on so many mailing lists! So grab that stack of catalogs piling up on your coffee table and clear out the clutter. Visit CatalogChoice.org to put a stop to unwanted catalogs. Within 10 weeks, your mailbox will be empty of unwanted catalogs. A less cluttered mailbox means less pollution, less waste and less of the pollution that cause global warming.

Give Up Conventional Detergents
Cost: $10.25 for one 112-oz box
Many natural detergents today are made to clean clothes just as effectively in cooler water temperatures. Choose detergents and other laundry products that are plant-based, concentrated and biodegradable.

Give Up Hot Water (At Least In the Clothes Washer)
Cost: $0
Did you know that only 10 percent of the energy used by a typical washing machine powers the motor? About 90 percent of the energy is used to heat the water, and most clothes will come clean in cold water. So switch your washing machine's temperature setting. For heavily soiled clothing, change it from hot to warm, but otherwise try to wash and rinse most of your clothing in cold water.

TDG Editor note: In the market for a new washer? Look for an energy-efficient front-loading clothes washer and other green laundry gear.

Give Up the Clothes Dryer
Cost: $0
The second biggest household energy user, after the refrigerator, is the clothes dryer. Overdrying your clothes can end up costing you money as well. (As much as $70,000 over your lifetime, according to the Green Cheapskate.) An electric dryer operating an extra 15 minutes a load can cost you up to $34 a year in wasted energy; a gas dryer, $21 a year. When using the dryer, clear the lint filter after each load and dry only full loads of clothes. Dry heavy fabrics separately from lighter ones, and don't add wet clothing in the middle of the drying cycle. And remember that hanging clothing outside in the sun and air to dry is the most energy-efficient method -- or use a folding indoor rack all year long.

Also see Green and Gorgeous Laundry Room Appliances.

Give Up 2 Degrees
Cost: $0
Electric power plants are the country's largest industrial source of the pollutants that cause global warming. By snuggling under a blanket on the couch on a snowy winter night instead of turning up the heat, or enjoying the breeze from a fan in the height of summer instead of turning up the air conditioning, you can save pounds of pollution, as well as some money off your utility bills. Set your thermostat in winter to 68 degrees F (20° C) or less during the daytime and 55 degrees F (13° C) before going to sleep or when you are away for the day. And during the summer, set thermostats to 78 degrees F (26° C) or more.

TDG Editor note: See more winterization tips.

Give Up Dry Cleaning
Cost: $0
Until recently, almost all dry cleaners used a cancer-causing chemical called perchloroethylene, also known as Perc or TCE. Traces of this toxic chemical remain on your clothes after dry cleaning and will evaporate into the air in your car or home. If you have to use a traditional dry cleaner, take your dry cleaning out of the plastic and air it outside or near a window before hanging it in your closet. To avoid the need for dry cleaning at all, make customer care a part of your clothing purchase decisions and choose fabrics that don't require dry cleaning at all.